Fade Away
by CreatorsOfWorlds
Summary: A friend is somebody who sees the pain you hide from the rest of the world.


_A/N - This was my most popular oneshot, so back up it goes without a rewrite, even though it's also one of my oldest and I'm pretty sure I could write a better one now… hmm. Maybe I'd better just shut up and go write a better one, then. _

_More Itachi and Kisame friendship stuff because - you know the drill - there just ain't enough of it._

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_Disclaimer__ - I have lain in the mud all night and howled, but I still don't own Naruto._

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_**Fade Away**_

_**ooo**_

Itachi fades a little more every day.

He tries to hide it, and the ominous red and black of his cloak conceals the thinness which grows day by day, and the way the nineteen-year old cradles his left arm in it like a sling hides the fact that he can scarcely move it, most of the time. Itachi's good at lying, and he's had years and years of practice. Almost everyone who sees him is fooled, and for the few that aren't - for those bad days when Itachi isn't quite fast enough, can't handle the pain for a minute and doubles over with his arms clamped around his torso - well, that's what Kisame is there for. Senior partners are supposed to look after their junior partners, after all.

Kisame's had years of practice in seeing through lies. Kisame's been there for the mornings when Itachi can barely force himself out of bed, but dismisses the idea of rest, or a day off, as if it's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. Kisame's been there for the nights when Itachi tries to pretend he isn't feverish, but the shivering gives him away, and the long, wracking hours when he can never get his breath properly, and sometimes stops breathing altogether. Kisame's the one who covers up for Itachi when his eyesight's acting up by making some casual comment about the layout or the situation. Kisame's the one who talks on and on to fill the silence when Itachi isn't able to answer a question or comment that's directed at him during a meeting. Kisame's the one who has to watch his partner dying in front of his eyes, and pretend that it isn't happening because Itachi's morbid enough for both of them already and he knows that his cheerful, practical attitude towards the millions of little difficulties that fill their days due to his partner's illness is one of the few things that can make Itachi smile.

Kisame's seen death before, sometimes it's been messy, sometimes gut-wrenchingly traumatic and personal, and almost always violent, but this slow, draining sickness is something new, and he hates it. He's a Swordsman, and Swordsmen are a material bunch, always happier with an enemy they can see and hear and hopefully hack to pieces with their sword. You can't kill a disease like that, you can only watch it grow.

He's never told Itachi, but sometimes he remembers the conversation they had when they first met, and he wonders if this is his punishment for killing his teammates all those years ago, if the gods had decided that a second loss, this time one he was helpless to prevent, would be the right way to make him pay for what he'd done. Then he grins and shrugs and gets on with his day, because what the hell! - there's nothing he can do about it at this point. Except for stopping by a certain pharmacy on the way back to the Tower to pick up more of those pills for Itachi. And making sure that he dresses more warmly the next time they head out to Iwa.

Itachi accepts everything Kisame does with the same quiet gratitude; though sometimes a slightly wry smile will curve his lips when he thinks that his senior partner is trying too hard, hoping for too much. It's gotten to be a joke with them, when the weather's bad. "Get in out of the rain," Kisame will tell him, "or you'll catch your death." "Button up your cloak. We don't want you catching cold."

He tried apologizing for his illness once. Just once. Kisame had roared at him and then sat him down and given him a talk that somebody (and he's suddenly bitterly, furiously angry at that _father _of his) obviously should have given him a long time ago, and the fifteen-year old had ended up by breaking down very quietly and leaning against Kisame for a long time, silent sobs shaking the frame that was already too slender for a boy of his age.

The few times Kisame has seen Itachi cry, it's been almost completely noiseless, and the evidence quickly wiped away. He always either denies it or apologizes for it. Sometimes the tears come in his sleep, during the times when he whispers the names of his younger brother and the two cousins he lost, or the more troubled nights when he moans other names.

Sometimes Kisame runs a hand lovingly over Samehada and wishes that he'd had a chance at the boy's Clan before Obito and Itachi had finished it off between them.

In the end, everything is only delaying the inevitable, but Kisame's used to that kind of life, and at times he can't help clinging to the hope that maybe, just maybe, the end that Itachi plans for isn't so inevitable after all. Miracles don't come cheap these days, never have, but then, they live in Amegakure, where God walks the rain-drenched streets at night and visits the village orphanages on the second Tuesday of every month; and an angel watches from the skies and ends up cooking dinner for them all more often than not, when they don't force the newest member to do it; and their own faces look down at them at times from shrines large and small.

What better place to hope for a miracle?

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_Yeah, Kisame had to handle a lot. However, without Kisame, Itachi would never have lived long enough, in canon, to fight Sasuke. I'm serious. Nobody can live with that kind of hell, that kind of pressure and guilt, _and _a severe case of cancer, _and_ going blind _- _and make it through without having somebody to confide in, to vent to every once in a while, and to take up the slack when you can't. _

_Remember that Itachi was only thirteen when he joined the Akatsuki, and no matter how powerful and mature he might have been, he was also still a kid who had not had any real parental support for most of his life, and who had been forced to take the position of responsible adult in his relationship with Sasuke, and make some pretty damn impossible choices. He'd just lost most of his Clan at his own hands, which must have been pretty traumatic even though the relationship between them was not good, and he'd been forced to leave Sasuke behind after treating him very brutally. He was in an extremely vulnerable place, a place where he needed someone he could reach out to. I like to think that was why Leader-sama, who probably guessed more about Itachi than he revealed, put him on a team with Kisame, who could offer him that kind of support. _

_Also, think about Kisame's character for a minute. This is the man who detests lies and deception on principle, and we're supposed to believe that he was on a team with _Itachi _for nearly ten years without getting his story out of him? Not only that, but this is the man who can, if anyone can, keep a secret; he killed his entire team and later on in canon, himself, to do that. So Itachi could feel fairly safe in trusting his secret to him._

_Well, if you've made it through my little Kisame and Itachi essay, maybe you're the nice kind of reader who will drop a review and tell me what they think of the oneshot. I'd appreciate it - it would encourage me to write more!_


End file.
